Why do people get brand new when you’re going through

I have had 2 very significant turning points in my life. Significant because when they happened one thing changed…everything.  The first was the day I heard the doctor say “Cledra his heart has stopped” and she was talking about my only baby. The second was the day my husband walked into our home and said “Your Dad passed today”.

Beyond the grief and pain the thing that has challenged me is the response by those closest to me.

I have been angry by the lack of phone calls, support, or even a basic text to say “Cledra thinking of you”. I have been equally shocked by the phone calls, support, and texts from people I BARELY know.  It’s like GOD was changing the roles of the people in my life.  HE repositioned those I had on the front row.

I’m writing this because as GOD allows me to work with more clients to support them through their season of dropping ALL weight I notice what happened to me is actually COMMON.  Client after client will say  ” I can’t believe the way my relationships have changed with people I really thought would be happy for me or would’ve supported me through this”


Here’s what GOD has allowed me to see…it’s a season of differentiation. Now y’all know I’m a nerd so it’s gonna SOUND like I’m going on a nerd tangent but prayerfully and patiently continue…


DIFFERENTIATION in mathematical terms… the essence of calculus is the derivative. The derivate is the instantaneous rate of change of a function with respect to one of its variables.

STAY WITH ME…This is equivalent to finding the slope.
PLAIN TALK FOR LIFE…it’s finding out who you REALLY have in your life and what it takes for them to “DIP”(slope)…leave

Challenging times in life will quickly DIFFERENTIATE

someone you just know from someone who is a real friend
someone capable of walking by faith from someone needing all the answers
someone committed to worship from someone committed to worry
someone committed to prayer from someone committed to panic

GOD is more interested in the derivative…knowing the DIP point for those in your life because where HE is taking you requires folk who will not go when the wind blows! GOD needs you to know how strong you are and the TRUTH about who you have in your life and more importantly where they REALLY BELONG.

I know all too well that differentiation is painful however I also know on this new day that it is liberating.  YOU AND I ARE STILL HERE!! WE MADE IT WITHOUT THEM!  WE MADE IT WITH GOD! That…that’s the good news.


Last…bless those GOD has repositioned.  I held on to anger too long not realizing that GOD in his loving merciful way was releasing people that he knew I otherwise wouldn’t have released.  Let them blow away and be thankful for the wind(your storm) that showed you their level of attachment.


What my favorite Pastor said…life changing

You ever felt like your Pastor was talking directly to you?

Ever felt like…now HOW did HE know that was what I was dealing with?

Well that’s what happened to me when my FAVORITE Pastor was talking about the power of GOD’s deliverance.

First let me give you a quick back drop to what was going on in my head…

I’ve been very transparent about the impact losing my father suddenly has had on my weight and how I’ve had to hire at one point someone who specializes in grief to help me cope and heal at the level I craved healing but in the process of all of that some of my VERY OLD eating habits resurrected.  For instance, in moments of really difficult heartache I would go to the drive thru at McDonalds and get sausage (you know they have that “have breakfast all day” marketing going on) and my Daddy and I used to have breakfast “all day” meaning at night sometimes and so in some way it connected me to him BUT it also connected me to a larger pair of pants and THAT…THAT was a DISCONNECTION that needed to take place!

ANYWAY…that’s the struggle and honestly it was a struggle that I had been praying about and yes…you could say asking for GOD’s deliverance.

AND THAT’s when my Pastor had the nerve to say something that hit me SO HARD I honestly wanted to walk out. Not because I didn’t like what was said but because the impact was SO deep I just needed some time to process …so he goes

People come up to me all the time and say Pastor I asked the Lord to deliver me from “so and so” but I still can’t help doing “so and so”. I don’t know what the Lord is doing in my life because I’m not delivered. (that’s my paraphrase of his setup)


AND THEN…OMG…he said the life changing comment





Hold up…STOP the PRESS…“what you STILL want to do”


Real talk…on some level with my YEARS of being in this space of weight loss and wellness I had to admit that on some level I still wanted to indulge I just didn’t want the consequences of the indulgence. Can you relate? You know you wanna still have a LITTLE but have A LOT of progress?

Was it possible that my heart wasn’t turned to GOD for COMPLETE DELIVERANCE ?

COMPLETE DELIVERANCE as defined as Lord destroy my DESIRE and WILL for ANYTHING(including that sausage) separating me from the Cledra YOU had in mind?

I’m convinced that when it comes to at least weight loss we want the Lord to help us with being disciplined TO A POINT.  Help us TO A POINT where we can see PHYSICAL RESULTS(smaller clothes and a lower number on the scale) but GOD is interested in SPIRITUAL RESULTS.

Numbers like the number of times we look to HIM for comfort instead of a cookie,  the number of minutes we study HIS WORD, the size of our faith, the willingness to drop the “scales” of judgment and offer grace.

GOD looks at the heart and I was convicted so much by what my Pastor said that I was led to go before God and admit that I wanted to change consequences more than I wanted deliverance and to search my heart , break my will, replace it with YOUR purpose, and renew my mind.

Can’t wait to tell you what happened next but I will say it has changed my life AND my body,  but for now…I wanna invite you to go to GOD and get real about your position.

Have you been asking for deliverance from something that on some level you still really wanna do? Do you want deliverance more from the consequences than a true break from ever having the desire?

I also invite you to Relevant Life Ministries to hear my favorite Pastor…Pastor Eddie Gross. 

Worship is at 10:30 am on Sundays at 1860 Sandy Plains Road Marietta, GA 30066

Leave me a comment and let me know …have you asked for deliverance? Do you have it? Do you still on some level still want to do what you asked to be delivered from ?

Post below OR come tell me in person because I’ll be up front with my favorite Pastor at the end of service to greet and welcome you!


Cledra Gross