Closing the Gap to the Life of Your Dreams

Closing the Gap to the Life of Your Dreams

Chances are there is a gap  

As long as we’re alive there will be a gap

Today I want to share with you how to get closer to what you REALLY want

Closing the gap between where  you are and where you want to be

This year God willing is my last year in my 40s

I can’t help but rewind to the last year in my 30s

At 39 I was obese, divorced, devastated and in a lot of debt

On top of all of that my job was being dissolved

At the time I was in North Carolina and I had a choice to move to Philly or Atlanta

I’m a southern girl at heart so I chose Atlanta

Think about your life….what has happened in the last 10 years?

The next 10 will pass and the life you have has to be one you get intentional about closing the gap

 

The first thing…ACCEPT WHAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE

 

I will never forget hiring a Relationship Coach and she challenged me because I was still sending my ex-husband my progress pictures of my weight loss.

She said…are you doing that because on some level you want him to see you as good enough?

The tears started to fall.

 

My point?

 

What is it that you have been unwilling to accept and are you dabbling like I was in your past?

 

The serenity prayer helped me

 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can and

The wisdom to know the difference

Get intentional about what you have been unwilling to accept

Give it to GOD

Stay in the lane of what you CAN change

That will start you on the path of closing the gap between closing the gap between the life you have now and life you dream of having.

Enjoy the rest of this new day

Consistent Healthy Eating With This One Habit

Consistent Healthy Eating With This One Habit

In order to do what GOD has called you to do it is going to take energy

Energy comes mainly from the sleep we get and the food we eat

In order to maximize your energy you have to maximize your healthy eating

The ability to make a healthy choice comes down to implementing this ONE habit

First you need to understand there are 2 parts of our brain involved in decision making

There’s the limbic part of the brain and then there’s the pre-frontal cortex

The limbic part of the brain wants to keep us alive

It’s the part that when you are stressed it says EAT A COOKIE

Why?

It wants relief as quickly as possible with the least amount of effort

The pre-frontal cortex is the part of the brain that thinks things through 

I like to call this the part of the brain we use the day before we go on vacation

We sort, sift, and get stuff done at lightning speed without any procrastination

In order to use that part of our brain more the ONE habit you need to implement is to

DECIDE IN ADVANCE

 

DECIDE IN ADVANCE…

what you’re going to have for dinner

what you’re going to have when your daughter is at soccer practice

what you’re going to have on the way to Bible Study

what you’re going to have at that favorite restaurant your family loves after Church

By deciding in advance you engage the more thoughtful part of your brain

As always I would love to have you continue the conversation over in my closed group Healthy  Boss Ladies 

Thanks so much!!

Enjoy the rest of your day

Throw Away Your To Do List

Throw Away Your To Do List and Get More Done!

If you are tired of getting to the end of your workday and NOT getting everything done then this episode is for you.

I’m going to teach you how to throw away your to-do list in order to get more done

Get what NEEDS to get done by throwing way your to-do list

I hear so many people talk about being overwhelmed and having too much to do

Step 1:   Do a “To-Do” DUMP LIST

Take a clean sheet of paper with TO DO at the top

Dump everything you want to get done for the next week

When advanced with this you can do 2-4 weeks in advance but for now start with 7 days

Carve out 30 minutes

Step 2:  Take the MUSTS

Shift from the “wants” to the MUSTS

MUSTS support your ultimate goal

For me for example: I MUST workout. I MUST have healthy meals for my husband and me. 

I don’t enjoy the way I feel when I don’t workout and eat healthy. Another MUST is time with GOD

I am NOT talking about your 9 to 5 

I am talking about the MUSTS for YOU to move closer to your goal

Most of people haven’t identified their MUSTS

Step 3: Assign a day and time

Look at your calendar for the week

Assign a day AND a time

This is the critical difference

Most just list their “to-dos” without giving top priority for the MUSTS

For example: I know the exact days I will run. I know exactly what my family will eat. 

Overcome The Inner Critic

Overcome The Inner Critic!

Who do you think you are?

You can’t do that!

It didn’t work the last time…

on and on the inner critic goes every time you try to set a goal to improve your life.  

First of all know that this is NORMAL

Second of all there’s help!!

Who was the first person to speak to me in a critical voice or tone?

For me I remember getting weighed in front of my class in middle school and because I was 5’10” tall at age 11 I was bigger than everyone in the school except the principle and a few of the male teachers.  When the scale said 135 lbs the boys in my class surrounded me and started singing “Don’t wanna bump with that big fat woman”.  That was the moment I remember to this day as the first group of people to criticize me

What we unfortunately do sometimes is we adopt other peoples criticism and pick up where they left off and begin to criticize ourselves….OR….we overcompensate by becoming “performers” and excelling in everything to compensate for the criticism. Some people spend their life running as a result of the impact of the painful criticism. 

Courage
It takes courage to draw a line in the sand and declare change.  It’s easy to SAY you want change but actually having the courage to order a salad with grilled protein ; say NO to that offer of sweet potato pie from your favorite Aunt; bring a veggie tray to the family reunion…it all takes the courage to stand out and at times maybe even feel like you’re in a fish bowl.

Courage does NOT feel good and most of us will do anything to relieve ourselves from the painful discomfort being courageous requires

Stop and ask yourself when did it FIRST start?

The second step is to look at how the critical voice is being reinforced .  Is it reinforced by YOU? Do you speak with love, compassion and grace for your journey or are you harsh and critical when you make mistakes?  Forgive yourself. Love yourself and be aware of the ways you may unintentionally be reinforcing the criticism.

Last thing…REPLACE IT!!
It’s time to pull those critical thought out of your mind and replace them with the love you deserve.  Giving this love to yourself wiliest the standard for everyone else to follow.  It’ll also help you with your goals. Holding yourself to unrealistic perfectionistic standards will only set you up for failure and for the critical voice to return to the microphone in your mind.  

Now that you are 

AWARE and  ACCEPTING

it’s time to TAKE ACTION to REPLACE those thoughts.

Use my THINK ON PURPOSE guide to help you replace those negative thoughts and to see how the critical thoughts support you in creating results you don’t want.  The great news about raising your awareness of your critical thoughts is that now you can change them!

Get your Think on purpose guide HERE

How to Be Consistent

How To Be Consistent!

Consistency…it’s the difference between making progress and being on the merry-go-round of starting-stopping-restarting-stopping AGAIN…and repeat.

If you have struggled with staying consistent then understanding the 4 “C”s that create consistency will help you.

Commitment
Without a “no matter what” commitment to your goal then you are bound to quit. This about the areas you already have a “no matter what” commitment.  If you’re married you vow to be committed no matter what. You don’t tell your spouse “sweetheart I can’t make it home this week I’m gonna sleep with someone else because I have a lot going on”. ( at least I hope you don’t)  You don’t just leave your kid at school and tell them get home the best way you can because I”m stressed today.  But when it comes to the commitments you make to yourself to make YOU a HEALTHIER version of YOU…do you allow your commitment to waiver based on how you feel or what you have going on in your life?

Courage
It takes courage to draw a line in the sand and declare change.  It’s easy to SAY you want change but actually having the courage to order a salad with grilled protein ; say NO to that offer of sweet potato pie from your favorite Aunt; bring a veggie tray to the family reunion…it all takes the courage to stand out and at times maybe even feel like you’re in a fish bowl.

Courage does NOT feel good and most of us will do anything to relieve ourselves from the painful discomfort being courageous requires

Capabilities
The ONLY way to develop new capabilities is to go through the process of keeping a no mater what commitment AND being willing to endure the discomfort that comes from being courageous to stand out and sometimes stand apart.  

Confidence
The confidence of knowing that “I got this” comes from enduring.  Enduring the discomfort to develop new capabilities leads to strong confidence which ultimately leads to what you’re after…

 

CONSISTENCY

So this boils down to you being able to endure NOT FEELING GREAT in order to FEEL AMAZING!!  Seems counterintuitive but it’s the truth.  On the other side of denying yourself is the freedom from weight, the book you want to write , the business you want to start, the (fill in the blank) that GOD has on your heart to do but you haven’t been consistent enough to get it done.

Download my Think on Purpose guide HERE to help you learn how to intentionally think. Most people are doing default thinking meaning they respond the same way to stress their entire life and end up losing a lot of time not merry-go-round of starting-stopping-restarting-stopping AGAIN

This guide will help you get to the root of the results you want to create which begins with THINKING ON PURPOSE.  Get your guide HERE